Education themed jokes:

1. Dad puts finger print(Thumb) on son's mark sheet.

Child asked father:
Being a chartered accountant,
Why did you put finger print instead of signature on my progress card.

Father replied:
idiot,after looking at your marks, the teacher should not think that I am educated.

2. Critical thinking among children:

Pintu: daadi neend nhi aa rahi, TV dekh lun?

Daadi: mujh se baat kr le

Pintu: daadi kya hum hamesha 6 hi rahenge?
Aap, mom, dad, didi, main aur meri billi

Daadi: nahi beta aapke liye kal doggy b aa raha h to 7 ho jaayenge

Pintu: par doggy to billi ko kha jayega fir 6 ho jaayenge

Daadi: nahi beta aap ki shaadi ho jaayegi to 7 ho jaayenge

Pintu: fir behen chali jaayegi shaadi kr ke to fir 6 ho jaayenge

Daadi: beta fir aapka beta ho jaayega to fir 7 ho jaayenge

Pintu: tb tk aap mar jaaogi to fir hum wapas se 6 ho jaayenge

Daadi: Bewqauf......jaa TV dekh

3. Once upon a time ..a small boy named Basheer lived in a tiny Moroccan village. All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher who was always yelling at him "you are driving me crazy, *Basheer*"...

One day his mother went to check out how he is doing at school and the teacher told her honestly that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her whole career...

The mother could not accept such a feedback and she took her son out from that school and she even shifted to another city ...

25 years later, that teacher got a cardio disorder and all the doctors advised her to go for an open heart operation which only one surgeon could perform in another city.

Left with no other choice she did it and the surgery was successful...when she opened her eyes, she saw a handsome doctor smiling at her, being under anesthesia effect, she wanted to thank him but could not talk.........in turn, the doctor was staring at her face which started turning blue. She was raising her hand trying to tell him something but in vain and eventually she died.....

The doctor was shocked and was trying to understand what just happened, till he turned back and saw *Basheer* working as a cleaner in that hospital who unplugged the ventilator to connect his vacuum cleaner......

If you were thinking that *Basheer* became a doctor, it's because you have been watching too many Indian movies, serials or have read too many motivational forwarded messages...
*Basheer* is still *Basheer*

4. When I was in class 7 I used to ask a lot of questions.

One Day I decided to ask one ms. Smith this question.

ME: Well, in pronunciation we ignore some letters eg letter 'H' in Hour, Honest, Honor.. E.t.c, Why?

Ms. Smith: Not ignoring, they are considered silent.

(I was even more confused) (after class, the teacher asked me to heat her packed lunch for her in the microwave in the cafeteria. I ate all the food and returned an empty hotpot.

Ms. Smith: What happened... I told you to go and HEAT my food??

ME: Mmmmh Madam I thought 'H' was silent

5. Father:What happened to your results?

Son: I have been NEWZEALANDED.

Father: What?!!!! What do you mean?

Son : Dad, Myself and another boy both scored exactly same marks. But, he was given 1st Rank, while I got 2nd.

Father: This is ridiculous. If marks are equal, then both should have been declared Joint 1st Rank Holders na? By the way, how come he got 1st Rank? On what basis?

Son : I checked that too. Principal said it was decided based on how many additional sheets were taken by us while writing the exams. He had taken more than me. So.....

Father: 🤔😮😲😠😡

6. Teacher addresses a student and asks: “How many kidneys do we have?"
“Four!", The student responds.
“Four? Haha,” The teacher was one of those who took pleasure in picking on his students' mistakes and demoralizing them.

“Bring a bundle of grass, because we have an ass in the room," the teacher orders a front bencher.
“And for me a coffee!”, the student added.
The teacher was furious and expelled the student from the room.

The student was, by the way, the humorist Aparicio Torelly Aporelly (1895-1971), better known as the "Baron de Itararé".

On his was out of the classroom, the student still had the audacity to correct the furious teacher:
"You asked me how many kidneys‘ we have." ‘We have four: two of mine and two of yours. ‘We have’ is an expression used for the plural. Enjoy the grass".

😂😂

7. *When I was in class 7 , I used to ask a lot of questions. .....!*

*One day, I asked my English Teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H .......in Hour, Honour. .....etc. ......??????*

*My English Teacher said, " We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent ".......*

*(I was even more confused .....?????)*

*During the lunch break, my Teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria.*

*I ate all the food and returned her the empty container. ....!!!!!!!*

*My English Teacher : What happened? I told you to go and HEAT my food, you are returning me an empty container.*

*I replied, "Madam, I thought 'H' was silent. 😛*

*Dedicated to all English Teachers.😂🤣😝*

8).......

Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up, “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.”

SON : “Awww Mom! I don’t want to go to school.”

MOM : “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.”

SON :

“One, all the children hate me.

Two, all the teachers hate me.”

MOM : “Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.”

SON : “ OK. You give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?”

MOM :

One,

you are FIFTY-TWO years old,

And should understand your responsibilities.

Two.....

You are the PRINCIPAL of the school "😂😄😁😜

9).....

Sarita is a very good teacher in the school ... and was teaching students .....

Sarita: - Tell me where is the Taj Mahal .... 🕌

Students: Agra ...

Sarita : Wrong ... It's in Delhi...

The students all got into thinking .. and were confused

😮😲

The students told this thing to their parents.

The very next day, all the parents reached the school and started complaining to Sarita teacher that why are you teaching the children wrong ..

Sarita to all the parents: First of all you should deposit the fees of the last six months 💰

Till the fees are deposited.

Taj Mahal will remain in Delhi ……

🤣😂

10... That's your problem:

WHAT STUDENTS CAN DO AND PERSUE THEIR FURTHER STUDIES AFTER 12th:

- After PUC 12th- WHAT STUDENTS CAN DO AND PERSUE THEIR FURTHER STUDIES AFTER 12th: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - * Science Courses* (3 Years) Bsc Physics Bsc Chemistry Bsc Botany Bsc Zoology Bsc Computer science Bsc Mathematics Bsc PCM Bsc CBZ Bsc Forestry Bsc Dietician & Nutritionist Bsc Home Science Bsc Agriculture Science Bsc Horticulture Bsc Sericulture Bsc Oceanography Bsc Melsorology Bsc Arthopology Bsc Forensic Science Bsc Food technology Bsc Diary Technology Bsc Hotel Management Bsc Fashion Design Bsc Mass Communication Bsc Electronic Media Bsc Multimedia Bsc 3D Animation * Commerce Courses* CA Chartered Account CMA Cost Management Account CS Company Secretary (Foun...

When Progress Steals Our Voices: The Human Cost of Automation:

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Education system in Greece and Rome in ancient times: (In Urdu)-

یونان اور روم میں نظامِ تعلیم ڈاکٹر عرفان حبیب مغربی تعلیم کی تاریخ کا آغاز حضرت عیسیٰؑ سے سیکڑوں برس پہلے، یونانی قوم کی تعلیمی سرگرمیوں سے ہوتا ہے۔ اس تاریخ میں بیسویں صدی کی شروعات تک ایک تسلسل پایا جاتا ہے۔ ابتدائی دور میں یونانی شہری ریاستوں میں رہتے تھے۔ شروع ہی سے ان کے یہاں تعلیم کو بڑی اہمیت دی جاتی تھی۔ اچھے شہری تیار کرنے کے لیے تعلیم ضروری تھی۔ یہ ریاستیں دشمنوں میں گھری ہوئی تھیں اور اکثر اندرونی خطروں کا بھی سامنا کرنا ہوتا تھا۔ اس لیے شہریوں کی اس طرح سے تربیت ضروری تھی کہ وہ اندرونی اور بیرونی خطروں کا اچھی طرح مقابلہ کر سکیں۔ اس یونانی سماج کی بنیاد، غلامی کے نظام پر تھی جس میں غلاموں کی تعداد آزاد شہریوں سے کہیں زیادہ تھی۔ تجارت اور ہاتھ سے کام کرنے کو معیوب سمجھا جاتا تھا اور یہ کام غلاموں سے لیے جاتے تھے، اس لیے شہریوں کو کوئی ٹیکنیکل تعلیم حاصل کرنے کی ضرورت نہیں تھی۔ شہری ریاستیں کئی باتوں میں ایک دوسرے سے مختلف تھیں اور اس لیے ان کے تعلیم کے مقاصد بھی جدا جدا تھے مثلاً سپارٹا اور ایتھنز کے تعلیمی نظام بالکل الگ الگ تھے۔ سپارٹا کے شہری اپنے علاقے می...

Train your Children in the way of the righteous:

Dear Parents, HABITS THAT SHOW IMPROPER UPBRINGING OF CHILDREN. Please, carefully look at the list below and identify where you may want to make amends on yourself or on the young ones you are bringing up. Children, if not properly groomed may never get to the top in life, even if both parents are at the top of their careers. Manners take you to where your education can't irrespective of your status, wealth or your reach or influence: 1) Going to your child's school indecently dressed. (Think again). 2) Speaking rashly to your child's teacher. 3) Cursing, using foul language or swearing words in front of your children. 4) Using makeup on children. 5) Dressing your little children up indecently (they loose their sense of Princesshood). 6) Putting earrings on your son's ears. 7) Your child holds the cup or glassware by the brim and you don't correct. 8) Your children don't greet and you just feel they will come around one day because they have a mood s...

ಪ್ರೊ. ಕೆ. ಎಸ್. ನಿಸಾರ್ ಅಹಮದ್ ರವರ ಜೀವನ-

- ಪ್ರೊ. ಕೆ. ಎಸ್. ನಿಸಾರ್ ಅಹಮದ್ ಪ್ರೊ.ಕೆ.ಎಸ್.ನಿಸಾರ್ ಅಹಮದ್ (5 ಫೆಬ್ರುವರಿ 1936 - 3 ಮೇ 2020) ಕನ್ನಡದ ಪ್ರಮುಖ ಸಾಹಿತಿಗಳಾಗಿದ್ದರು. ಅವರ ಪೂರ್ಣ ಹೆಸರು 'ಕೊಕ್ಕರೆಹೊಸಳ್ಳಿ ಶೇಖಹೈದರ ನಿಸಾರ್ ಅಹಮದ್'. ಅವರು ಬರೆದ 'ಜೋಗದ ಸಿರಿ ಬೆಳಕಿನಲ್ಲಿ ತುಂಗೆಯ ತೆನೆ ಬಳುಕಿನಲ್ಲಿ' ಎಂಬ ಪದ್ಯವು ಬಹಳ ಜನಪ್ರಿಯವಾಗಿ ಅವರು ನಿತ್ಯೋತ್ಸವ ಕವಿಯೆಂದೂ ಕರೆಯಲ್ಪಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದರು. Image source: Online typing ಜೀವನ- ಪ್ರೊ. ನಿಸಾರ್ ಅಹಮದ್ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ಜಿಲ್ಲೆಯ ದೇವನಹಳ್ಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಫೆಬ್ರುವರಿ ೫, ೧೯೩೬ ರಲ್ಲಿ ಜನಿಸಿದರು. ೧೯೫೯ ರಲ್ಲಿ ಭೂವಿಜ್ಞಾನದಲ್ಲಿ ಸ್ನಾತಕೋತ್ತರ ಪದವಿ ಪಡೆದರು. ೧೯೯೪ ರ ವರೆಗೆ ವಿವಿಧ ಸರಕಾರಿ ಕಾಲೇಜುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಅಧ್ಯಾಪಕ ಹಾಗು ಪ್ರಾಧ್ಯಾಪಕರಾಗಿ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡಿ ನಿವೃತ್ತರಾದರು. ಜನನ 5 ಫೆಬ್ರುವರಿ 1936 ದೇವನಹಳ್ಳಿ, ಮೈಸೂರು ಸಂಸ್ಥಾನ, ಬ್ರಿಟಿಷ್ ಇಂಡಿಯಾ ಮರಣ 3 ಮೇ 2020 (ವಯಸ್ಸು 84)[೧] ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ವೃತ್ತಿ ಸಾಹಿತಿ, ಪ್ರೊಫೆಸರ್ ಭಾಷೆ ಕನ್ನಡ ರಾಷ್ಟ್ರೀಯತೆ ಭಾರತ ಪ್ರಕಾರ/ಶೈಲಿ Fiction ಸಾಹಿತ್ಯ ಚಳುವಳಿ ನವ್ಯ ಕಾವ್ಯ ಪ್ರಮುಖ ಕೆಲಸಗಳು ಮನಸು ಗಾಂಧಿ ಬಜಾರು(1960) ನಿತ್ಯೋತ್ಸವ ಪ್ರಮುಖ ಪ್ರಶಸ್ತಿಗಳು ಪದ್ಮಶ್ರೀ (೨೦೦೮), ರಾಜ್ಯೋತ್ಸವ (೧೯೮೧) ಕೆಲವು ಸಾಹಿತ್ಯಗಳು : ನಿಸಾರ್ ಅಹಮದ್ ...

Challenges faced by school counsellors as per study undertaken in India (Part 1.12)--:

- Counselling skills are seen as an important area in educational institutions. The education boards like CBSE mandates schools to appoint counsellor. The schools which have appointed counsellors in the school environment, the counsellor face few challenges, as school involves multiple stakeholders- Teachers, Children, Parents, Management, Civil society (Civil society- When school is involved with collaborative programs with external institutions). There are some kinds of stigma attached to counsellor and counselling practices. When counsellor calls children to meet, they become very conscious to go to the counsellor even to have general interaction. Some responded that if a child goes to a dedicated counsellor, the child might think he has negativity in him. A counsellor said that rapport building takes much time. Children are afraid because they have misinformation about counselling. Class 1st to 5th children know counsellor as a Lifeskills teacher and not as a counsellor. It he...

What is phonics in english and understanding Hauna phonics system:

HAUNA PHONICS HAUNA phonics is a systematic, child centred approach to teaching literacy skills. Children are taught the sounds of the letters in a specific order. Group 1- s, a, m, n, i, p, t Group 2-r, d, c, k, o, g, l Group 3- b, u, f, h, j, e, q Group 4- v, w, x, y, z, Group 5- ai, ee, ai, oa, ue Group 6- Ng, ch, th, ah, OO, oo Group 7-ou, oi, or, er, ar After completion of one group of letters, children are taught how to blend and read words. Words that do not follow the phonics principle are named as Comm. words or frequently used words. Children are taught four lists of Comm. words in H3. List 1 I, me, he, be, to, do, no List 2 We, was, has, is, his, so, us List 3 All, go, she, my, are, here, one List 4 The, them, there, those, this, those, that, then, there Click to see video of Sounds of phonics: Further reading: Understanding Phonics of English language: So, what exactly is phonics? Phonics invol...

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