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Education themed jokes:

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1. Dad puts finger print(Thumb) on son's mark sheet.
Child asked father:
Being a chartered accountant,
Why did you put finger print instead of signature on my progress card.
Father replied:
idiot,after looking at your marks, the teacher should not think that I am educated.

2. Critical thinking among children:
Pintu: daadi neend nhi aa rahi, TV dekh lun?
Daadi: mujh se baat kr le
Pintu: daadi kya hum hamesha 6 hi rahenge?
Aap, mom, dad, didi, main aur meri billi
Daadi: nahi beta aapke liye kal doggy b aa raha h to 7 ho jaayenge
Pintu: par doggy to billi ko kha jayega fir 6 ho jaayenge
Daadi: nahi beta aap ki shaadi ho jaayegi to 7 ho jaayenge
Pintu: fir behen chali jaayegi shaadi kr ke to fir 6 ho jaayenge
Daadi: beta fir aapka beta ho jaayega to fir 7 ho jaayenge
Pintu: tb tk aap mar jaaogi to fir hum wapas se 6 ho jaayenge
Daadi: Bewqauf......jaa TV dekh

3. Once upon a time ..a small boy named Basheer lived in a tiny Moroccan village. All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher who was always yelling at him "you are driving me crazy, *Basheer*"...
One day his mother went to check out how he is doing at school and the teacher told her honestly that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her whole career...
The mother could not accept such a feedback and she took her son out from that school and she even shifted to another city ...
25 years later, that teacher got a cardio disorder and all the doctors advised her to go for an open heart operation which only one surgeon could perform in another city.
Left with no other choice she did it and the surgery was successful...when she opened her eyes, she saw a handsome doctor smiling at her, being under anesthesia effect, she wanted to thank him but could not talk.........in turn, the doctor was staring at her face which started turning blue. She was raising her hand trying to tell him something but in vain and eventually she died.....
The doctor was shocked and was trying to understand what just happened, till he turned back and saw *Basheer* working as a cleaner in that hospital who unplugged the ventilator to connect his vacuum cleaner......
If you were thinking that *Basheer* became a doctor, it's because you have been watching too many Indian movies, serials or have read too many motivational forwarded messages...
*Basheer* is still *Basheer*

4. When I was in class 7 I used to ask a lot of questions.
One Day I decided to ask one ms. Smith this question.
ME: Well, in pronunciation we ignore some letters eg letter 'H' in Hour, Honest, Honor.. E.t.c, Why?
Ms. Smith: Not ignoring, they are considered silent.
(I was even more confused) (after class, the teacher asked me to heat her packed lunch for her in the microwave in the cafeteria. I ate all the food and returned an empty hotpot.
Ms. Smith: What happened... I told you to go and HEAT my food??
ME: Mmmmh Madam I thought 'H' was silent

5. Father:What happened to your results?

Son: I have been NEWZEALANDED.

Father: What?!!!! What do you mean?

Son : Dad, Myself and another boy both scored exactly same marks. But, he was given 1st Rank, while I got 2nd.

Father: This is ridiculous. If marks are equal, then both should have been declared Joint 1st Rank Holders na? By the way, how come he got 1st Rank? On what basis?

Son : I checked that too. Principal said it was decided based on how many additional sheets were taken by us while writing the exams.  He had taken more than me. So.....

Father: 🤔😮😲😠😡

6. Teacher addresses a student and asks: “How many kidneys do we have?"
“Four!", The student responds.
“Four? Haha,” The teacher was one of those who took pleasure in picking on his students' mistakes and demoralizing them.

“Bring a bundle of grass, because we have an ass in the room," the teacher orders a front bencher.
“And for me a coffee!”, the student added.
The teacher was furious and expelled the student from the room.

The student was, by the way, the humorist Aparicio Torelly Aporelly (1895-1971), better known as the "Baron de Itararé".

On his was out of the classroom, the student still had the audacity to correct the furious teacher:
"You asked me how many kidneys‘ we have."  ‘We have four: two of mine and two of yours. ‘We have’ is an expression used for the plural. Enjoy the grass".

😂😂

7. *When I was in class 7 , I used to ask a lot of questions. .....!*
    *One day, I asked my English Teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H .......in Hour, Honour. .....etc. ......??????*
*My English Teacher said, " We are not ignoring them;  they're considered silent ".......*
       *(I was even more confused .....?????)*
   *During the lunch break, my Teacher  gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria.*
   *I ate all the food and returned her the empty container. ....!!!!!!!*
  *My English Teacher : What happened?  I told you to go and HEAT my food, you are returning me an empty container.*
   *I replied,  "Madam, I thought 'H' was silent. 😛* 

*Dedicated to all English Teachers.😂🤣😝*

8).......
Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up, “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.”

SON : “Awww Mom! I don’t want to go to school.”

MOM : “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.”

SON : 
“One, all the children hate me. 
Two, all the teachers hate me.”

MOM : “Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.”

SON : “ OK. You give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?”

MOM : 

One,
you are FIFTY-TWO years old,
And should understand your responsibilities. 

Two.....

You are the PRINCIPAL of the school "😂😄😁😜

9)..... 
Sarita is a very good teacher in the school ... and was teaching students ..... 
Sarita: - Tell me where is the Taj Mahal .... 🕌
Students: Agra ...  
Sarita : Wrong ... It's in Delhi...
The students all got into thinking .. and were confused
😮😲
The students told this thing to their parents.   
The very next day, all the parents reached the school and started complaining to Sarita teacher that why are you teaching the children wrong ..
Sarita to all the parents: First of all you should deposit the fees of the last six months 💰
Till the fees are deposited.  
Taj Mahal will remain in Delhi ……
🤣😂

10... That's your problem:


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