Skip to main content

*Why children do not have any motivation in their life and remain dull?*


Kids today are in a devastating emotional state! Most come to school emotionally unavailable for learning. There are many factors in our modern lifestyle that contribute to this.”

In her practice, my friend Victoria Prooday, OT is seeing something so widespread and alarming that I asked if I could share her thoughts. Due to the overwhelming interest and conversation on this topic, I am re-sharing her post.

I encourage every parent who cares about the future of his/her children to read it. I know that many would choose not to hear what she says in the article, but your children needs you to hear this message.

Victoria writes:

I am an occupational therapist with years of experience working with children, parents, and teachers. I completely agree with this teacher’s message that our children are getting worse and worse in many aspects.

I hear the same consistent message from every teacher I meet. Clearly, throughout my time as an Occupational Therapist, I have seen and continue to see a decline in children’s social, emotional, and academic functioning, as well as a sharp increase in learning disabilities and other diagnoses.

As we know, the brain is malleable. Through environment, we can make the brain “stronger” or make it “weaker”. I truly believe that, despite all our greatest intentions, we unfortunately remold our children’s brains in the wrong direction.

Here is why:

1. KIDS GET EVERYTHING THEY WANT WHEN THEY WANT IT

“I am Hungry!!” “In a sec I will stop at the drive thru” “I am Thirsty!” “Here is a vending machine.” “I am bored!” “Use my phone!”  The ability to delay gratification is one of the key factors for future success. We have the best intentions — to make our child happy — but unfortunately, we make them happy at the moment but miserable in the long term.  To be able to delay gratification means to be able to function under stress. Our children are gradually becoming less equipped to deal with even minor stressors, which eventually become huge obstacles to their success in life.

The inability to delay gratification is often seen in classrooms, malls, restaurants, and toy stores the moment the child hears “No” because parents have taught their child’s brain to get what it wants right away.

2. LIMITED SOCIAL INTERACTION
We are all busy, so we give our children digital gadgets and make them “busy” too. Kids used to play outside, where, in unstructured natural environments, they learned and practiced their social skills.  Unfortunately, technology replaced the outdoor time.  Also, technology made the parents less available to socially interact with their child. Obviously, our kids fall behind… the babysitting gadget is not equipped to help kids develop social skills. Most successful people have great social skills. This is the priority!

The brain is just like a muscle that is trainable and re-trainable. If you want your child to be able to bike, you teach him biking skills. If you want your child to be able to wait, you need to teach that child patience.  If you want your child to be able to socialize, you need to teach him social skills. The same applies to all the other skills. There is no difference!

3. ENDLESS FUN
We have created an artificial fun world for our children. There are no dull moments. The moment it becomes quiet, we run to entertain them again, because otherwise, we feel that we are not doing our parenting duty. We live in two separate worlds. They have their “fun“ world, and we have our “work” world. Why aren’t children helping us in the kitchen or with laundry? Why don’t they tidy up their toys? This is basic monotonous work that trains the brain to be workable and function under “boredom,” which is the same “muscle” that is required to be eventually teachable at school.  When they come to school and it is time for handwriting their answer is “I can’t. It is too hard. Too boring.” Why? Because the workable “muscle” is not getting trained through endless fun. It gets trained through work.

4. TECHNOLOGY
Using technology as a “Free babysitting service” is, in fact, not free at all. The payment is waiting for you just around the corner.  We pay with our kids’ nervous systems, with their attention, and with their ability for delayed gratification. Compared to virtual reality, everyday life is boring. When kids come to the classroom, they are exposed to human voices and adequate visual stimulation as opposed to being bombarded with the graphic explosions and special effects that they are used to seeing on the screens. After hours of virtual reality, processing information in a classroom becomes increasingly challenging for our kids because their brains are getting used to the high levels of stimulation that video games provide. The inability to process lower levels of stimulation leaves kids vulnerable to academic challenges. Technology also disconnects us emotionally from our children and our families. Parental emotional availability is the main nutrient for child’s brain. Unfortunately, we are gradually depriving our children of that nutrient.

5. KIDS RULE THE WORLD
“My son doesn’t like vegetables.” “She doesn’t like going to bed early.” “He doesn’t like to eat breakfast.” “She doesn’t like toys, but she is very good at her iPad” “He doesn’t want to get dressed on his own.” “She is too lazy to eat on her own.” This is what I hear from parents all the time. Since when do children dictate to us how to parent them? If we leave it all up to them, all they are going to do is eat macaroni and cheese and bagels with cream cheese, watch TV, play on their tablets, and never go to bed.

What good are we doing them by giving them what they WANT when we know that it is not GOOD for them? Without proper nutrition and a good night’s sleep, our kids come to school irritable, anxious, and inattentive.  In addition, we send them the wrong message.  They learn they can do what they want and not do what they don’t want.

The concept of “need to do” is absent. Unfortunately, in order to achieve our goals in our lives, we have to do what’s necessary, which may not always be what we want to do.  For example, if a child wants to be an A student, he needs to study hard. If he wants to be a successful soccer player, he needs to practice every day. Our children know very well what they want, but have a very hard time doing what is necessary to achieve that goal. This results in unattainable goals and leaves the kids disappointed.

TRAIN THEIR BRAIN
You can make a difference in your child’s life by training your child’s brain so that your child will successfully function on social, emotional, and academic levels. Here is how:

1. Don’t be afraid to set the limits. Kids need limits to grow happy and healthy!!

Make a schedule for meal times, sleep times, technology time
Think of what is GOOD for them- not what they WANT/DON’T WANT. They are going to thank you for that later on in life. Parenting is a hard job. You need to be creative to make them do what is good for them because, most of the time, that is the exact opposite of what they want.
Kids need breakfast and nutritious food. They need to spend time outdoor and go to bed at a consistent time in order to come to school available for learning the next day!
Convert things that they don’t like doing/trying into fun, emotionally stimulating games

2. LIMIT TECHNOLOGY, AND RE-CONNECT WITH YOUR KIDS EMOTIONALLY
Surprise them with flowers, share a smile, tickle them, put a love note in their backpack or under their pillow, surprise them by taking them out for lunch on a school day, dance together, crawl together, have pillow fights😊
Have family dinners, board game nights (see the list of my favorite board games), go biking, go to outdoor walks with a flashlight in the evening.

3. TRAIN DELAYED GRATIFICATION
Make them wait!!! It is ok to have “I am bored“ time – this is the first step to creativity
Gradually increase the waiting time between “I want” and “I get”
Avoid technology use in cars and restaurants, and instead teach them waiting while talking and playing games
Limit constant snacking

4. TEACH YOUR CHILD TO DO MONOTONOUS WORK FROM EARLY YEARS AS IT IS THE FOUNDATION FOR FUTURE “WORKABILITY”
Folding laundry, tidying up toys, hanging clothes, unpacking groceries, setting the table, making lunch, unpacking their lunch box, making their bed
Be creative. Initially make it stimulating and fun so that their brain associates it with something positive.

5. TEACH SOCIAL SKILLS
Teach them turn taking, sharing, losing/winning, compromising, complimenting others , using “please and thank you”

From my experience as an occupational therapist, the kids changes the moment parents change their perspective on parenting. Help your kids succeed in life by training and strengthening their brain sooner rather than later!

Source: received as forward from whatsaap message.

This is an initiative of CLF to bring news and views on education from various sources.

Popular posts from this blog

The Blueprint for Global Learning: Aligning Outcomes, Curriculum, and Assessment for a Brighter Future:

 - From the bustling classrooms of a city to the remote learning hubs across continents, education stands as humanity's most powerful tool for progress. It is the engine of innovation, the guardian of culture, and the pathway to individual and collective fulfillment. Yet, the true potential of any educational system, anywhere in the world, hinges on a fundamental, often overlooked, principle: the  seamless alignment of learning outcomes, curriculum, and assessment. This isn't merely an academic ideal; it's the  indispensable blueprint for designing, delivering, and systematically evaluating an education system that genuinely serves its purpose. The Three Pillars of Purposeful Learning Imagine education as a purposeful journey. Learning Outcomes  are our  destination . They are the clear, measurable statements that define what learners are truly expected to know, understand, and be able to do upon completing a course, a year, or an entire program. They articulate...

Acceptance is the warm embrace that tells a child, "You belong. You are enough"-

 - The Echo of Belief: The Single Most Powerful Gift for a Child's Self-Esteem In the delicate, intricate process of a child's growth, while countless elements play a part – opportunities, friendships, achievements – there stands one truth above all, a singular, luminous thread that weaves resilience and confidence into the very fabric of their being.  The  single most important factor in maintaining a child’s self-esteem is the unwavering presence of an adult who consistently demonstrates respect and acceptance, and who provides support that powerfully conveys the message: "I believe in you." The Foundation of Respect and Acceptance Imagine a child, navigating a world filled with new challenges, unexpected failures, and a constant stream of information to process. In this evolving landscape, what they crave most, even before praise, is to be seen, to be heard, and to be accepted exactly as they are. When an adult – be it a parent, a teacher, a Mosi, or a Buwa – treat...

Classroom: A place where the primary goal is not to fill a bucket, but to light a fire-

 - ### The Light in Their Eyes Do you remember it? That spark. The unbridled curiosity of a child who asks "why" for the tenth time, not to be difficult, but because their world is a universe of wonders waiting to be discovered. The five-year-old who spends an entire afternoon building a lopsided castle of mud and leaves, not for a grade, but for the sheer joy of creating. The eight-year-old who reads under the covers with a flashlight, lost in a world far beyond their bedroom walls. This is the light. It is the raw engine of passion, the bedrock of innovation, and the very soul of a lifelong learner. And I fear, with every fibre of my being, that our schools are becoming places where this light goes to die. Source: Gemini AI  We have, with the best of intentions, built a system that mistakes measurement for meaning. We have created a world within classroom walls where the landscape is paved with textbooks and the horizon is blocked by the looming shadow of the next exam. Chi...

School Library suggested list for Indian schools for classes 6th to 10th standard:

  ##  - Book Suggestions for a School Library in India for classes 6-10. Here are some book suggestions, focusing on core subjects and Indian languages, to enrich your school library:  1.  Works by renowned Indian authors in various languages (Hindi, english, regional languages etc.) 2. Language Reference Books:       * Dictionaries (English, Hindi, regional languages)       * Thesauruses       * Grammar books     * English communication books        * Writing guides      * Essay writing books   3. Science:       * Biographies of famous scientists (e.g., Einstein, Curie)       * Books on specific scientific topics (e.g., astronomy, biology, chemistry) 4. Mathematics:       * Mathematical puzzles and brain teasers       * History of mathematics       * Books on the practical applications of mathematic...

Education themed jokes:

1. Dad puts finger print(Thumb) on son's mark sheet. Child asked father: Being a chartered accountant, Why did you put finger print instead of signature on my progress card. Father replied: idiot,after looking at your marks, the teacher should not think that I am educated. 2. Critical thinking among children: Pintu: daadi neend nhi aa rahi, TV dekh lun? Daadi: mujh se baat kr le Pintu: daadi kya hum hamesha 6 hi rahenge? Aap, mom, dad, didi, main aur meri billi Daadi: nahi beta aapke liye kal doggy b aa raha h to 7 ho jaayenge Pintu: par doggy to billi ko kha jayega fir 6 ho jaayenge Daadi: nahi beta aap ki shaadi ho jaayegi to 7 ho jaayenge Pintu: fir behen chali jaayegi shaadi kr ke to fir 6 ho jaayenge Daadi: beta fir aapka beta ho jaayega to fir 7 ho jaayenge Pintu: tb tk aap mar jaaogi to fir hum wapas se 6 ho jaayenge Daadi: Bewqauf......jaa TV dekh 3. Once upon a time ..a small boy named Basheer lived in a tin...

Discipline rooted in connection builds emotional safety and also encourages internal motivation:

 - *“Discipline isn’t about control. It’s about connection.”* _This powerful statement shifts the traditional perspective of discipline from authority-based control to relationship-based guidance. True discipline is not about instilling fear or asserting dominance, it’s about helping someone grow by building trust, understanding, and connection._ 🧠 What It Means: • Control-based discipline says: “Do what I say, or face punishment.” • Connection-based discipline says: “I understand what you’re going through. Let’s learn from this together.” The goal is not to force obedience but to nurture self-discipline, empathy, and responsibility. 🌱 *_Example 1: A School Principal & a Misbehaving Student*_ • Control Approach: The principal suspends the student without asking why he was misbehaving. • Connection Approach: The principal calls the student in, sits beside him, and says, “You’re usually respectful. What happened today? Is something bothering you?” 🔁 *Outcome:* ...

ಪ್ರೊ. ಕೆ. ಎಸ್. ನಿಸಾರ್ ಅಹಮದ್ ರವರ ಜೀವನ-

- ಪ್ರೊ.  ಕೆ. ಎಸ್. ನಿಸಾರ್ ಅಹಮದ್ ಪ್ರೊ.ಕೆ.ಎಸ್.ನಿಸಾರ್ ಅಹಮದ್ (5 ಫೆಬ್ರುವರಿ 1936 - 3 ಮೇ 2020) ಕನ್ನಡದ ಪ್ರಮುಖ ಸಾಹಿತಿಗಳಾಗಿದ್ದರು. ಅವರ ಪೂರ್ಣ ಹೆಸರು 'ಕೊಕ್ಕರೆಹೊಸಳ್ಳಿ ಶೇಖಹೈದರ ನಿಸಾರ್ ಅಹಮದ್'. ಅವರು ಬರೆದ 'ಜೋಗದ ಸಿರಿ ಬೆಳಕಿನಲ್ಲಿ ತುಂಗೆಯ ತೆನೆ ಬಳುಕಿನಲ್ಲಿ' ಎಂಬ ಪದ್ಯವು ಬಹಳ ಜನಪ್ರಿಯವಾಗಿ ಅವರು ನಿತ್ಯೋತ್ಸವ ಕವಿಯೆಂದೂ ಕರೆಯಲ್ಪಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದರು. Image source: Online typing ಜೀವನ- ಪ್ರೊ. ನಿಸಾರ್ ಅಹಮದ್ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ಜಿಲ್ಲೆಯ ದೇವನಹಳ್ಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಫೆಬ್ರುವರಿ ೫, ೧೯೩೬ ರಲ್ಲಿ ಜನಿಸಿದರು. ೧೯೫೯ ರಲ್ಲಿ ಭೂವಿಜ್ಞಾನದಲ್ಲಿ ಸ್ನಾತಕೋತ್ತರ ಪದವಿ ಪಡೆದರು. ೧೯೯೪ ರ ವರೆಗೆ ವಿವಿಧ ಸರಕಾರಿ ಕಾಲೇಜುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಅಧ್ಯಾಪಕ ಹಾಗು ಪ್ರಾಧ್ಯಾಪಕರಾಗಿ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡಿ ನಿವೃತ್ತರಾದರು.             ಜನನ 5 ಫೆಬ್ರುವರಿ 1936 ದೇವನಹಳ್ಳಿ, ಮೈಸೂರು ಸಂಸ್ಥಾನ, ಬ್ರಿಟಿಷ್ ಇಂಡಿಯಾ              ಮರಣ 3 ಮೇ 2020 (ವಯಸ್ಸು 84)[೧] ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ವೃತ್ತಿ ಸಾಹಿತಿ, ಪ್ರೊಫೆಸರ್ ಭಾಷೆ ಕನ್ನಡ ರಾಷ್ಟ್ರೀಯತೆ ಭಾರತ ಪ್ರಕಾರ/ಶೈಲಿ Fiction ಸಾಹಿತ್ಯ ಚಳುವಳಿ ನವ್ಯ ಕಾವ್ಯ ಪ್ರಮುಖ ಕೆಲಸಗಳು ಮನಸು ಗಾಂಧಿ ಬಜಾರು(1960) ನಿತ್ಯೋತ್ಸವ ಪ್ರಮುಖ ಪ್ರಶಸ್ತಿಗಳು ಪದ್ಮಶ್ರೀ (೨೦೦೮), ರಾಜ್ಯೋತ್ಸವ (೧೯೮೧) ಕೆಲವು ಸಾಹಿತ್ಯಗಳು : ನಿಸಾರ್ ಅಹಮದ್  ...

Addressing Modern Disciplinary Challenges in Schools:

 - It's clear that schools today face unique disciplinary hurdles, particularly with the current generation of students. The traditional methods of lectures and assessments often fall flat, especially with boys, who seem to thrive on an activity-based approach to learning. This shift in engagement styles can make education feel like a forced endeavor, leading to a noticeable lack of interest and a decline in respect for manners and discipline. A significant concern is the limited parental cooperation. Many parents appear to feel their children are beyond their control, even suggesting corporal punishment as a solution and seemingly expecting schools to bear the sole responsibility for their children's tarbiyah (upbringing and moral development). This creates a challenging environment for educators. Compounding these issues is the evolving role of teachers. Modern educators, while dedicated, may not possess the same emotional resilience as previous generations, making it difficu...

Education system in Greece and Rome in ancient times: (In Urdu)-

یونان اور روم میں نظامِ تعلیم ڈاکٹر عرفان حبیب مغربی تعلیم کی تاریخ کا آغاز حضرت عیسیٰؑ سے سیکڑوں برس پہلے، یونانی قوم کی تعلیمی سرگرمیوں سے ہوتا ہے۔ اس تاریخ میں بیسویں صدی کی شروعات تک ایک تسلسل پایا جاتا ہے۔ ابتدائی دور میں یونانی شہری ریاستوں میں رہتے تھے۔ شروع ہی سے ان کے یہاں تعلیم کو بڑی اہمیت دی جاتی تھی۔ اچھے شہری تیار کرنے کے لیے تعلیم ضروری تھی۔ یہ ریاستیں دشمنوں میں گھری ہوئی تھیں اور اکثر اندرونی خطروں کا بھی سامنا کرنا ہوتا تھا۔ اس لیے شہریوں کی اس طرح سے تربیت ضروری تھی کہ وہ اندرونی اور بیرونی خطروں کا اچھی طرح مقابلہ کر سکیں۔ اس یونانی سماج کی بنیاد، غلامی کے نظام پر تھی جس میں غلاموں کی تعداد آزاد شہریوں سے کہیں زیادہ تھی۔ تجارت اور ہاتھ سے کام کرنے کو معیوب سمجھا جاتا تھا اور یہ کام غلاموں سے لیے جاتے تھے، اس لیے شہریوں کو کوئی ٹیکنیکل تعلیم حاصل کرنے کی ضرورت نہیں تھی۔ شہری ریاستیں کئی باتوں میں ایک دوسرے سے مختلف تھیں اور اس لیے ان کے تعلیم کے مقاصد بھی جدا جدا تھے مثلاً سپارٹا اور ایتھنز کے تعلیمی نظام بالکل الگ الگ تھے۔ سپارٹا کے شہری اپنے علاقے می...

Online Schools and eclectic curriculum:

 - Online schools, while offering flexibility and accessibility, come with several disadvantages, particularly when they employ a mixed eclectic curriculum. An "eclectic curriculum" typically means drawing from various teaching philosophies and methods, aiming to personalize learning. While this sounds good in theory, in an online setting, it can lead to unique challenges. Here are the disadvantages of online school, especially one offering a mixed eclectic curriculum: I. General Disadvantages of Online School:  * Lack of Face-to-Face Interaction and Social Isolation:    * Reduced Engagement: Students miss out on spontaneous discussions, immediate feedback, and the dynamic energy of a physical classroom.    * Isolation: The absence of in-person interaction with peers and instructors can lead to feelings of loneliness, reduced motivation, and a diminished sense of community.    * Limited Social Skill Development: Opportunities for developing crucia...